Why HSPs Struggle to Find the Right Career (And What I Wish I’d Known Sooner)
Ever since I entered the workforce (about 30 years ago), my career journey has been a major source of doubt, burnout, and stress for me. And this surprised me, because, like so many highly sensitive people (HSPs), I was extremely intelligent, observant, and constantly praised by my family, teachers, and managers. I believed I would succeed in anything in life, and when it came to climbing the corporate ladder, I couldn’t wait to get started.
I had no idea how different my real-life career trajectory would be compared to my expectations.
I enjoyed a few of my jobs here and there, but they seemed to be the low-stakes ones where I was able to do my own thing and connect with people on a genuine level, such as working at the grocery store or waiting tables. It was in my higher-paid professional roles, however, where I struggled the most.
Fast-forward to now, and there is so much about finding my ideal path that I wish I’d known sooner. Here’s a bit about my career journey and what I’ve finally learned that has made the road infinitely easier.
My Career Journey as a Highly Sensitive Person
My first professional role was working at a printing press, designing stationery and typesetting limited-edition books. My ultimate dream was to become a fiction writer, so working at a place that published original works by John Updike and Walter Cronkite, among other famous contemporary authors and figures, was so exciting for me.
I planned to put in a little time slugging away at the press while building my writing skills, but after a while, I no longer felt secure in my job or saw my ability to grow within the company, so I decided to leave.
I then got hired by Time Inc. to work in their book publishing department, where I created the production schedule for brands like Cooking Light, Real Simple, and Sports Illustrated. I was here for six years, and I always felt “off” and like I didn’t belong on my team or know how to effectively navigate the game of office politics.
There was a competitive nature to these roles that I wasn’t great at, and while I’m sure the most successful people in these environments can balance both professional prowess and genuine human connection, I leaned into the human connection side the most. I didn’t ever quite get or fit into the professional social scene, so I was constantly left feeling undervalued in my work.
These environments also always felt impersonal to me. I thought I could bring my full self to these jobs, which was kind and nurturing, but my personality never landed with the kind of power and authority I’d imagined it would. I was intelligent, yes, but I never seemed to command respect among my coworkers. I could sense that I was there to put my head down and do the grunt work. This affected my confidence in my ability to succeed, and I continued shrinking myself and hiding behind my desk so I could stop feeling so worthless.
I stayed so much longer than I should have. I remember how painful it was to pretend I was confident and happy in every meeting and work event, when all I felt was incapable.
Then, I got excited again when I remembered why I started in the first place and realized how far I had strayed from my dream.
After years of trying different companies and roles in the publishing industry, I realized I was taking jobs that allowed me to work with books, but not in the capacity I wanted to, which was writing and working with the actual text. That was the part of the process I had intended to develop, but I was doing everything else.
Finally, I decided to go for it.
I got my copyediting certification, quit my job at Time Inc., and jumped into writing and editing as a freelancer.
Why I Struggled to Find the Right Career
I was immediately relieved to work from home and retreat into my quiet, gentle inner world, but this new landscape brought a whole new set of challenges.
My clients demanded quick turnarounds, and I preferred to take my time with my work. Then, I learned that I couldn’t stand spending so much time and mental energy writing about topics I wasn’t passionate about. I dreamed about writing fiction and was interested in home décor and botanicals, yet I was working for an online magazine for single moms and industrial water technology company, all while learning about the latest advancements in blogging and content marketing for SEO.
Suddenly, there was a pattern I began to recognize: I was entering each job with all the enthusiasm in the world, then once the reality hit about the demands of the position, the inner workings of the team, and the feeling of the daily grind, I could see it didn’t fulfill me. My confidence would tank again, my excitement waned quickly, and I was left depressed, burned out, and looking for the exit.
In all these instances, I was severely disappointed when my work didn’t leave me feeling empowered or joyful, which is what I always expected my career to provide for me. It was the one truth I had bought into…that we never work a day in our lives when we find work that speaks to our souls.
I thought pursuing my dream would fix everything, so why couldn’t I find “the” job?
Why HSPs Often Struggle to Find the Right Job
Studies show I’m not alone in this career experience. Stress affects HSPs more than non-HSPs (for some great tips on reducing your stress, you can download my free stress-less toolkit here), so it’s no surprise we can struggle in work environments that don’t suit our needs.
It’s common for HSPs to job-hop and struggle finding their ideal career path, since we tend to be much more aware of our environment and need to engage in creative, autonomous, and purposeful work, or it doesn’t satisfy us. And according to Dr. Barrie Jaeger, as outlined in her book Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person, there are three different ways that HSPs experience work: drudgery, craft, and calling.
As HSPs, we tend to slip between all three:
1. Drudgery Jobs: These cause chronic stress, burnout, and overwhelm. They feel like an endless grind, and to get through the day, you’re really just going through the motions.
2. Craft Jobs: Allow us autonomy over our work, challenge us to build our skills, and help us develop a greater expertise in our field of work. The work doesn’t necessarily satisfy our need for deep emotional connection or finding our purpose, but it pays the bills, and they’re tolerable.
3. Calling Jobs: This is the pinnacle of your career journey and is just as exciting as it sounds: a sweet spot of a career that feels like it is meant for you; aligns with your core values, interests, and skills; and rarely feels like a burden.
The point is, it’s easy to slip into that dissatisfaction if our work doesn’t tick all our boxes. Every instance where our jobs don’t meet our need for connection and purpose eventually gets magnified and grows into a monster of an issue until we’re left burned out and looking for our next path.
But this is where I get to share with you what I wish I had known before I even started.
How to Create a Gentler Career Path as an HSP
The most significant decision I ever made in my career journey was to stop trying to figure out why I couldn’t thrive in a corporate environment and honor my need to create deep, slow, and meaningful work. This acceptance completely changed not only my work trajectory, but my life.
I got so sick and tired of fighting the way my mind and body worked and started honoring how I longed to move through this world. And after accepting that I truly love a slower, gentler pace, these truths were finally able to emerge for me:
1. Going slower might be your superpower
My spirit loves to think things through and meander in thought, exploring different angles of varying concepts. When I am pushed to produce something quickly without having had the time to understand how each part connects to the other, I don’t feel satisfied…and I don’t feel like the work is complete.
I love to learn, and taking things slow is my way of making sure my work is intentional and well-rounded. This level of attention and care takes more time, but it is also more thorough and accurate, and I no longer apologize for taking the time I need.
I still fight with myself about this, since I need to find that balance between going slow and losing steam, but I’m learning that the less I force myself to go quickly and allow myself to simply enjoy the process of how my life and work want to unfold, the more enjoyable and sustainable it feels.
2. Following our passion is important
When I am forced to work on something that doesn’t light me up or make me feel like I’m being of service, it will bore me to tears. My brain shuts off, and it won’t let me continue. Trying to slug through and fight that dense energy drains me so much.
I always somehow equated passion with the side gig…not the main way to make money. But I learned that instead of taking jobs that offered security thinking I’d get the passion part out of it somehow, I was much more satisfied and secure when I placed the passion first. I can’t tell you how many times I gave up what I really wanted to do for the sake of a paycheck, thinking I could act on my real interests on the side or force myself to be satisfied where I was.
But when I finally chose to pursue my genuine path (even when I didn’t know what it looked like yet), everything shifted and supported me in that somehow. The universe saw I was aligning and helped me through, supporting me when I needed time to go slowly. Eventually, I had enough evidence to trust that it was rising to meet me, and I leapt.
And I don’t regret this leap of faith for a single moment.
3. Manifesting a new reality takes time
Manifesting our desires is a very real and powerful concept. Our realities are truly mind over matter.
I remember when I first started my manifestation journey, I thought it would be instantaneous and easy. “Just believe it, and it will appear,” was the message I received.
Though this is true to some extent, things worked a bit differently here than I’d understood.
The universe didn’t hand me what I wanted, though it always provides what I need. It continued to shape me into the person who creates that reality, and it only worked because I let it.
This means that I didn’t always get handed “the thing,” but I was able to recognize the lessons that helped me become it. Once I learned how to allow these energies to surface and work with them, making new choices and decisions in alignment with what I wanted became infinitely easier.
4. There is no wrong path
Looking back on all the times I struggled in my career, I now realize there was never a “wrong” path. My career journey, even though it was a struggle, provided me with so many tools that I’m still using, and nothing ever went to waste.
Each position developed a piece of the “current me,” whether it was lessons in resilience, learning new skills, or recognizing more about what I did and didn’t want in my work.
When we are in the wrong jobs (and this goes for the wrong relationships, environments, etc.), the universe will make us very uncomfortable until we finally choose another path or response. I learned to pay attention to what my body was telling me rather than assume I wasn’t strong or smart enough to succeed, and everything I endured shifted from a feeling of “poor me” to an incredible learning opportunity and point of growth.
I wasn’t in the right place…yet.
I still needed to keep going and believe the path would appear, and it did.
5. Small steps, one day at a time is key
One of the major shifts in my life that has proved immeasurable is trusting the breadcrumbs. I have a deep faith that I will be led to where I want to go, and instead of focusing solely on forcing and knowing the end result, I use what I want as a gentle guide.
I learned that when I set my goals and tried to figure out the way to get there, I was met with so much resistance. I had the tendency to get stuck in the “what should I do” and “what do I want” energy, which kept me looping and remaining stagnant.
Allowing myself to let the process loose and have that end goal in mind and allow the universe to guide me was the real magic.
My inner guidance shows me one small step at a time, but it was my job to trust that guidance and take those steps, even if I didn’t yet know where it was leading me.
6. Developing your intuition is the real game changer
Learning how to use my intuition and trust my inner compass has been an absolute game-changer for me. Luckily, there is so much information out there now about how to turn on this inner guidance and use it as a tool, essentially developing our 6th sense and using that to read the energy and vibration of what’s going on around us.
When I am manifesting and putting my intention into the energetic field now, I no longer doubt anything that’s going on around me. I get strong inner guidance and know my guides will tell me how to get there.
For example, when I ask my guides to show me what I need to work on today, and I look at my list of to-dos, I get a strong indication in my body of which is the best to pursue. They know what I want and need to accomplish. They know that I want and need a gentle day without too much pressure. They know that I long to express myself creatively and make a living without heavy lifting and being myself. And then they show me the way.
People say intuition and manifestation aren’t magic, but I disagree. I’d say these people haven’t experienced what true intuition does and feels like. It’s not loud or jarring, but it’s never wrong and extremely reliable once you understand how to work with it.
How HSPs Can Find Work That Meets Their Needs
What I thought was a failure of my career journey and a strong indication that I was incapable was simply my spirit’s way of showing me I was in the wrong environment, surrounded by the wrong people, and doing things that just didn’t matter to me.
Our lives truly change when we stop buying into the idea that, just because we don’t enjoy the modern-day work culture, we’re somehow weak, flawed, or incapable.
When we instead work to love and accept our gentle way of living and honor our needs, and we stop choosing the same old work stories, our paths can open us up to something far more incredible than we could imagine: a career of our own to do with it as we please.
Following our souls’ desires and flowing with our own energy, time, and pace, allows us to meander and explore life in a way we never could by settling for the made-for-us work model. We can then become creators of depth and excitement in our work, and that is something to be honored, not used against us or to shame us.
It’s long past the time that more HSPs give ourselves permission to live on our own terms, whatever that look like to us, knowing that we are supported by something greater than ourselves.
It has been my journey and why I do the work I do…supporting other HSPs ignite that inner guidance and learn how to trust your own path instead of the ones laid out for you.
Choosing a Gentler Career Path Forward
If you’re ready to stop second-guessing your career path and step into a life that is gentler and more reflective of your own intuition and desires, I’d love to help. I’m an ICF-certified and Gifted Intuitive Coach.
By using my intuition and reading your frequency, energy, and vibration in the coaching process, I can help you understand the root of your career challenges more quickly, and help you activate and strengthen your inner guidance along the way.
If you’d like to explore my coaching in more detail, you can read more about me and my process or set up a free discovery session here.