Episode #33: Reclaiming Desire, Purpose, and Healing as a Highly Sensitive Person with Elisa Calosso
A conversation on somatic healing, nervous system regulation, and finding meaningful work after corporate burnout.
Welcome back to The Happy HSP Podcast. I’m your host Kimberly Marshall, and if you’ve ever felt the weight of your sensitivity at work, disconnected from your truth and desires in life, or unsure how to honor your sensitivity without burning out, then this episode is for you.
Today, I’m joined by Elisa Calosso, a holistic coach and former HR professional who is an expert in emotional and somatic work. In our conversation, we talk about what it really means to reclaim your desire and purpose as a highly sensitive person and how somatic practices, like EFT tapping, can help release stress and anxiety, and whatever else is holding you back.
I hope you enjoy it!
Kim: All right, Elisa, thank you so much for joining me today. It’s wonderful to see you.
Elisa: Likewise. Thank you for the invitation.
Kim: Yeah. So, the first thing I’d love to learn about is your journey as a highly sensitive person and how you found out and what led you to that realization.
Elisa: Well, it wasn’t like I just woke up one day and I learned, oh, I’m an HSP. It was more a journey of getting to know myself. And at the beginning I struggled somehow because I knew there was something different about me, the way I perceived the world, the way I related to it. Sometimes it felt very overwhelming, especially during a time in my life where I went through a lot of anxiety and insomnia and some emotional kind of, not disbalance, but my emotions were not as aligned, I would say. So in that exploration where I was getting to know more myself and started doing more of the deeper work because I didn’t want to depend on medication because of all the symptoms I was going through, I didn’t come across “HSP” or “empath” immediately, but when I was doing one of my trainings for one of the techniques that I practice, I came across a practitioner that actually worked with HSPs.
And at that time I learned, oh, there is an actual term for this. And she had a survey on her website in order to start working with her. And then a lot of things started clicking right there just after taking that assessment. And when I started doing the work with her, that’s when everything really started making sense. And finally it was like, oh, now I know why I do the things I do. Now I know why I get more overwhelmed. Or now I understand why maybe I’m not so good at environments where they’re too loud or where there are a lot of people or when I’m asked to do many things at once. Now I get it. So, I think that’s when I started to understand more myself. And that was something recent. It wasn’t something that I just learned a long time ago. It was with my work. So, I would say it was about five years ago.
Kim: Right. So how did that change things for you? And what was that like? Because I know you mentioned in your work and your biography that you had trouble in the corporate world with your high sensitivity. Is that right? Is that where you were kind of struggling and where you found the most…
Elisa: That’s where everything started, and it accumulated. I was in human resources. So as a HR professional, I had to deal with different type of personalities, different type of conflicts and a lot of changes in the workplace. And so that at a point became overwhelming to me. It was difficult, especially when I had to handle terminations, separations. And I deeply felt that it was very hard for me to have those conversations and to let go people. And to sometimes it’s very, I would say, inhumane in the way that it’s just a transaction. You’re no longer an employee here and you have to collect all your belongings and bye. So that for me was one of the things that I think burnt me out because I did this for some time while we were restructuring. And I think that was one of the most difficult situations, like a time in my life where I had to deal with this.
And it was hard. It was hard to not separate my emotions from that.
Kim: I love hearing this from your perspective, especially from someone who was in human resources. I mean, that’s one of the things that I struggled with. And when I started to really notice my high sensitivity was an issue when I worked for a corporate team, and I feel like that was the hardest part, was separating how I felt about the people on a personal level versus what they needed from me in my work. It was like I couldn’t separate the two, and it wasn’t like I could go home and not care about my boss or not care about what they needed from me. I cared very deeply. And yeah, I always struggled that because I always wondered how can everybody just come to work and be so mean to each other all day and be fine with it? It would absolutely rip me apart.
Elisa: Yes, it’s very hard. And just protecting those energetic boundaries, really making that separation between work and also being human. And it is a very fine line, I would say, because we are all human. We have emotions, we have families, we have problems and things we’re going through. So sometimes it’s not as easy to leave that at work or at the door. So I think even for people that may not be HSPs, it may be a struggle. And for us that we feel things even more deeply, I think it’s even more challenging.
Kim: So, obviously you made a transition from HR into your new space where you are now. Can you tell me a little bit about that journey, what that was like and what that process?
Elisa: Yes. And it wasn’t something planned like, “Oh, okay, now I’m going to build my own business. I’m going to do this move.” It was more a process where things were not really working out anymore in my last position, and that was during the pandemic, too. So a lot of changes during that time, a lot of challenges. I just had my second baby. And as I went back to work after maternity leave, things really changed. And that was also a wake-up call for me to really question and figure out if that’s what I wanted to continue doing or if it was time for me to transition into something else. At that point, I didn’t know what that something else was. And I separated from that employer and I was still looking for another position, but I also wanted to do something in wellness. And that’s something that really was in my heart as a HR professional.
And I was looking for positions in that type of scope, but nothing really presented. And so one day as I was doing my research, I got an invitation to do a program that I always wanted to do, and I was always looking for this specific program, but it never showed up. And so it was a sign from the universe and everything aligned. And I signed up for the program. I started studying. I went back to school, so I paused from the job search. And then after all the transformation that I went through, I was like, okay, I need to bring this to the world. It makes so much sense. I really want others to experience this. And so that’s how everything started. So, it’s been a journey of about three years now in this process, and I’m very happy, very happy doing this.
Kim: So, share with me, so now what do you do and what is the business that you’re growing and how do you show that?
Elisa: So, it’s a coaching business and it’s not traditional coaching where I work with you on your goals and a plan. Yes, we incorporate some of that, but I see you as a whole human being. It’s a holistic approach where I incorporate my experience as a HR professional. So we work on transitions, we can work on career moves, we can work on any employment career type of focus, but we also work on a deeper level on what is in the way, what are those patterns that may be interfering, especially on the emotional side of things. That’s my specialty right now. I do emotional intelligence work and I use somatic techniques. So, it’s not only helping with particular problems, but also with the body. So, we incorporate what’s stuck in the body and these things may be in a subconscious way. So that’s why it’s a deeper work and it incorporates everything.
So, I like that because it’s more complete work and that’s what I did for myself.
Kim: That’s such a great point. It’s not just the emotional work and it’s not just body work. It’s all of it together is really, it’s all connected.
Elisa: Correct. Yes.
Kim: Yeah. So, what do you see in terms of, do you work with HSP specifically or you don’t…
Elisa: Not necessarily. Sometimes I do and they don’t even know they are HSPs, and I expect it already. And then some of the questions and they’re like, some have a hard time accepting it and that’s normal because sometimes it is seen as a weakness or you have to push through, you’re not allowed to feel this way and things like that. And those are some of the patterns or behaviors that I start asking questions about and for them to reflect.
So, it’s more that type of space that I create for them. It’s not telling them, “Oh, you’re in HSP and let’s do this.” It’s more, okay, it’s, “Have you become aware of this?” Or “how is your relationship to X, Y, Z?” Things like that. And so yes, I feel like we attract the type of things we work on. So, I’ve found that, yes, I’m attracting more HSPs, people that have gone along the journey that I’ve been through.
So, it’s good. It’s encouraging because it’s like, okay, I think I can help you. Well, I know I can help you more than I think. I know I can help you with this.
Kim: And it’s so beautiful because I feel like a lot of the conversations I’m having are so focused on more of the internal work, more of the internal space, the things that we can control, like the emotions, like how we feel in our body. But the thing I was thinking about the other day, and I’d love your perspective on this too, is that it’s so easy for us…well, for me, I’m speaking from personal experience, to get kind of trapped in the self-help kind of talk and the knowledge of it.
And I feel like once you get into the actual practice of feeling in your body and feeling your emotion, it’s a whole different story. It’s like you can learn as much as you want about all these things. And I feel like more and more people are talking about them. And it’s easy to say, “I know all that,” but it’s not until you really start to apply it that you’re like, “Oh, wait, this isn’t so easy. There’s more to this here.”
Is that your sense? What’s your thought on that?
Elisa: Yes, actually, because it’s a transition from your logical mind to the feeling to the body, and the body knows the body keeps the score and there are things that we can’t really express with words. And so, I think the magic of this type of work, is once we really feel it in the body and we release, we learn how to release that energy. And again, sometimes we don’t even know how to describe it with words, but it feels like, and you could maybe describe it like this pit in my stomach, it’s just this emptiness or this hole or this big ball and you don’t know how to call it, but it’s there. Okay. So we work with that sensation, we work with whatever is that energy. And once again, we make that decision to let it process and release it and it no longer serve us, then something magically happens.
And then yes, you have to feel it in the body, I think, in order to shift whatever is there more than just because you know in your mind, yes, there is something there and I need to do the work, but then you get into all of this back and forth and then no, you’re just getting too mental. It’s not working.
Kim: We do. We get so lost in our thoughts when, like you said, it’s that energy that’s stuck in the body. Can you share a little bit about what that looks like to say you have a pit in your stomach? What does it look like to acknowledge that and let it go? How do you do that? What’s the process?
Elisa: So, the process is first of all, becoming aware of it, being in touch because sometimes we are just taught to not even get in touch with our emotions or our feelings, just to push it away. Oh, it’s a stomach pain. Well, maybe you just take some medication for stomach pain or, or maybe something I ate that didn’t go well, and that could be the case, yes, but most likely your stomach, it’s going through maybe some trouble digesting because you may have some emotions that you’re not even digesting, so that’s making it even more difficult. So, in that sense, it’s just becoming aware of that sensation, just like you may have a tension in your shoulders or your neck, just give it room like, okay, I’m going to sit with this. It’s very uncomfortable. And there are techniques that you can practice where you can give it some space too.
You don’t have to be so close to it, especially if there are very intense emotions. And so, it’s first of all, acknowledging, knowing that it is there and that you are safe, letting your nervous system know that it is safe to work on this. Once you create that type of safe container, then it is easier for that sensation to be processed and released. And then the way I do it is with somatic practices, like for example, EFT tapping where you are tapping on acute pressure points. So by doing that, you are sending a calm signal to your nervous system. So, it’s like, okay, you are safe. We are going to do this work and you can trust me while we do this. So, the nervous system feels, oh, okay, so you’re letting me know that I can relax, and I can open up. Yes. Okay.
So then that’s when this type of release happens.
Kim: Wow. It almost sounds like, especially with the tapping, I’m slightly familiar with it. It’s almost like if you’re doing that and you’re telling yourself your nervous system is safe, it’s almost like you’re helping connect that you’re not usually connecting. It’s like usually you’re lost in thought or usually you’re lost in the tension in your body, but when you’re tapping your body and you’re telling it you’re safe, it’s like you’re connecting the mind with the nervous system. Is that right?
Elisa: Yes. You are connecting with the nervous system because you are tapping on all of these acupuncture points and just the action of holding the point and breathing, you don’t even have to tap. That’s already very powerful. You don’t have to even use words. You can just do that. And even connecting to the emotion or the sensation in the body and doing that action, it’s already doing a lot in your body and your mind.
Kim: Right. Because when you touch and you’re bringing your awareness.
Elisa: Yes. Yes.
Kim: Very, very cool. So in your practice, you also talk about desire. What part of that is important to you and what kind of desire are you talking about when you’re helping people get back to their desire?
Elisa: It’s more alignment with purpose. What is it that you really want in your life? What is it that lights you up? And I think as children, we probably were very clear or at least connected to what we wanted to do. And it may sound crazy right now like, oh, I wanted to be an astronaut, or I wanted to be, I don’t know, a dancer and a teacher. That’s what my daughter says. She wants to be a dancer and a teacher. And then it’s like along the way with everything that goes in our life, we lose some kind of touch with that. So, it’s really reconnecting with our true purpose, with what makes us happy. And so I think by working, first of all, on all that negative beliefs and the things that we have accumulated growing up and connecting to that inner child. So what purpose is there for us?
That’s really what’s going to create, I say magic because I think it is magical to live from that type of place. It’s not a place of just like, “Oh, la, la, la,” and you’re just dreaming. But it’s really the sense that when you wake up, you are happy for no reason. You’re happy because you are living your life, because you are healthy, because so many things and you connect to this sense of gratitude that’s living in purpose, not necessarily because you have the most wonderful job, but maybe in my case, it’s because I’m serving others and that brings a lot of joy, and it is connecting to my purpose. So yes, that’s what it really means to be your desire to connect to your desire.
Kim: Oh, gosh, that’s so beautiful. And I relate to that. The gratitude, you don’t have to have everything to be perfect in your life, but when you can focus on the things that are going well and the things that do light you up and the service that you are able to provide, there’s so much joy there.
Elisa: For sure. Yes.
Kim: So, what would you say you struggle with as a highly sensitive person? What challenges you with this trait?
Elisa: I think it’s mostly preserving my own energy and making sure that I ... Well, not so making sure, but really identifying, is this my energy or is this the energy of the other person? Setting boundaries, energetic boundaries, that’s something that I continue working on. And especially with the work that I do, I have to make it very clear that the things that I do can be sometimes very deep. They can be things that are very vulnerable for others.
And so, I do make sure that I do my own work all the time that I am processing also things that I need to work on. So I know when I do that, I can provide that space for others. And so yeah, that’s important. Also, identifying whenever I am in an environment that can be overstimulating. So, for example, if it’s too loud or if there is ... Even with lights at night sometimes, I now understand, oh, okay, maybe the lights are not ... They’re very bright, they can bother me.
So things like that that I already know in the past, they would annoy me and I would feel bad like it was my fault there was something wrong with me. But now it’s like, okay, yes, I understand this, and I can make some adjustments and it’s not a big deal anymore. I don’t give it as much attention, but I just acknowledge them. So that’s been the shift. And then it’s again, it’s like other people may have some other kind of struggles, like maybe they have a dieting issue or maybe they are whatever. I think we all have something and nobody’s perfect. Just like my doctor would say the other day, it’s like everybody has something. So, it’s like ... Yeah.
Kim: Sounds like she’s pretty smart.
Elisa: Yes. This is actually my son’s doctor, she’s very cool.
Kim: Oh, that’s so sweet. Yeah, everyone has something. And I love what you mentioned about just the awareness of it and how it doesn’t have to be such a big deal. I think before we understand these parts of ourselves, it does feel like a big deal. Not only am I reacting this way, why am I reacting this way? Why is no one else reacting this way? And you’re just kind of searching for these answers. But when you realize it’s just part of our trait and how our bodies work, then it’s like, oh, okay, the lights are bright. Why don’t I turn them down?
Elisa: Yes.
Kim: Helps simplify things, I guess.
Elisa: Exactly.
Kim: And what would you say you love about the trait? What do you celebrate?
Elisa: I celebrate that I connect with others very deeply and the type of friendships and relationships that I create, they’re not superficial. I like to really provide that space for safety, for them to share, and for them to feel my sensitivity, my warmth, that I’m a hundred percent there, that I’m present with them. And I like also the piece that I can sense a lot of the things that maybe they don’t know and that I can now through my work mostly because I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not appropriate or it’s not the right place to share things, especially around family or people that may know me.
So, it’s also been part of my process of learning. But yes, it’s noticing things that other people may miss that they may not pay attention to. I think we all have sensitivities, just some of us have it…it’s more developed than others.
But yes, I think that sense of connection, it’s definitely deeper and appreciated more now.
Kim: And what would you say to highly sensitive people who may be struggling with their trait?
Elisa: Well, first of all, I think it is important to work on accepting yourself. And sometimes I know it’s hard. For me, for example, it was even hard to say I deeply and completely love and accept myself. And that’s one of the phrases that goes along with some of the tapping script that are done in EFT tapping. And so there are ways to working on this, to really appreciating who you are. And I think that’s the first step really. And it has to come organically. It can’t be forced. It can’t be just like, oh, I have to accept who I am and it’s uncomfortable and I just have to toughen up. And no, it really has to come from a place of compassion. And once we recognize it and I see it as a superpower now, yeah, sometimes I may get upset and I wished, but then it’s like, well, but this is who I am, and this is my identity and there is only one of me.
I’m the only one in the whole universe. It’s like our fingerprints. So yes, it’s really changing that relationship, how you see things. And once you reframe it and you start things from another perspective, I think that’s when things start changing. And once you are aligned to that, you’ll be surprised how you start attracting situations, people into your life that will support you through this work. And again, you’re not alone in this. There are a lot of us out there who are like this and who have gone through the process and can support you.
Kim: I love that so much, especially the part where you mentioned, no, you’re not alone, but we’re all unique, we’re all ourselves and there’s no one else like you. Why not step into the beauty of you? Yeah.
Elisa: Yes. Everybody else is taken, so just be you. You can be unique.
Kim: It’s such beautiful advice. Thank you for that. So you mentioned that you had some free sessions on stress relief that you offer and free resources on your website. Can you share what those are?
Elisa: Sure. Yes. I offer a free session on Eventbrite, so you can register there. The link, it’s also on my website on the resources, and I do it the first and the third Friday of the month at 12:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, and we meet for an hour. And in this hour, I share different type of techniques for stress relief and you can ... It’s fun. We do something different every time, but for sure we do EFT tapping. That’s one of the most popular things that we practice.
And on my website, there is also a resource that you can download you will receive for the next five days different exercises that will help you regulate and to promote calm and relaxation. And yeah, the first one is EFT tapping. So that’s something that if you’re curious about, I do a small session on what it is and the points, and we do a brief exercise.
Kim: Awesome. And where can people follow along on your journey?
Elisa: They can follow me on LinkedIn, on Instagram, just look up my name, Elisa Calosso, and my company name is “u,” the letter “u,” uflourishcoaching.com.
Kim: Perfect. I’ll make sure that all that is in the show notes as well, so people can click on those links. And just thank you so much for joining me today and having this beautiful conversation.
Elisa: Thank you so much for the invitation. It was fun talking to you.
Kim: Same here.
Thanks so much for listening in on my conversation with Elisa. I hope it reminds you that holistic healing journeys can help open the doors to a deeper, more heart-aligned journey that feeds your soul. There’s just a different level of awareness that we gain when we give ourselves permission to slow down, listen to our bodies, and let ourselves discover what truly fuels that inner flame.
If you’ve found this episode insightful, please share it with another HSP who could use these words. At some point in time, we’ve all needed that reminder and reassurance that we’re not alone in our experiences, and sharing this episode is such a quick and easy way to spread the love and support the other gentle souls in our lives who could use some comfort at this time.
Until next time. Take care!
About Elisa Calosso:
Elisa Calosso supports high-achieving women shift from burnout to burning desire, without burning out again. After 15+ years climbing the corporate Human Resources ladder and silently battling anxiety, panic attacks, and insomnia, Elisa hit a turning point: more meds weren’t the answer. Healing at the root was.
Her mission is to support professional women and business owners in spotting the early signs of burnout and doing something about it before they hit a wall. She helps them uncover the emotional patterns, beliefs, and survival habits that silently drive exhaustion. Her clients don’t just find calm, they reclaim their joy, voice, and vitality. They stop operating on autopilot and start living on purpose.
Follow along on Elisa’s journey:
Website: https://www.uflourishcoaching.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elisacalossoeft/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elisa-calosso/
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About Kimberly:
Kimberly Marshall is an ICF-certified Intuition and Alignment coach for highly sensitive people (HSPs) and host of The Happy HSP Podcast. After 20 years in the publishing industry working for companies like Time Inc., Monster.com, and W. W. Norton, she left her corporate career to pursue work that better suited her HSP needs. She now helps HSPs reconnect with their intuition, energy, and soul’s purpose so they can live gentle, heart-centered lives in alignment with who they truly are.
Through her work, Kimberly hopes to shed more light on the reality of living with high sensitivity and inspire more HSPs to embrace their empathetic, loving, and gentle natures.
Hosted/produced by Kimberly Marshall
Edited by Fonzie Try Media
Artwork by Tara Corola